My name is Victory, and I really need advice on this situation I’m facing. It’s so serious that I can’t even sleep well these days.
Everything started in 2020 when I left Lagos to write my IMSU post-UTME. I was supposed to stay with my elder sister Linda, who was doing her IT then. My parents had sent her money for rent, but when I got to Imo State, I discovered she wasn’t staying in any student lodge. Instead, she was living in her workplace’s staff quarters.
When I asked her about it, she told me that her boss at work had started dating her and offered her the staff quarters to stay. At that time, I was 17 and didn’t really understand what was going on. I just joined her there since I needed somewhere to stay till my admission came out.
The thing is, along the line, I soon found out that she wasn’t just dating her boss. There was one brother from her church and another guy living near her workplace. The uncomfortable part was that she would sometimes bring these other guys to sleep over when her boss wasn’t around. I would just go and stay inside the company building those nights because I felt awkward.
I tried to stay indoors most of the time because I didn’t want trouble. But her boss (Mr. Mike) kept asking why I was always hiding inside. He would say, “Victory, why don’t you come out and get fresh air? You’re too young to be living like an old woman.” So I started sitting outside sometimes.
Everything fell apart when Mr. Mike found out about my sister’s other boyfriends. They argued badly, and he ended up slapping her! My sister had to pack her things and leave. We went to squat at her other boyfriend’s place near her workplace before she paid for another accommodation close to school. She was so bitter, always cursing him anytime she remembered him.
I gained admission that same year. Fast forward to a few months later, Mr. Mike called me. I was shocked when he sent transport fare and begged me to come to see him at the company, saying I shouldn’t tell my sister. I thought maybe he wanted to settle things with her, but when I got there, this man started telling me how he had been having feelings for me since those days I locked myself indoors, and how he noticed how different I was from my sister.
I was confused! How can I date my sister’s ex? But this man was persistent. He started sending me money for foodstuff, buying me gifts, and showing me so much care. We started dating secretly.
It’s been four years now. My sister has graduated, and I’m in my final year. Nobody knows about our relationship.
Mr. Mike has been so good to me—he respects me, takes care of me, and treats me like a queen. The problem now is that he wants to marry me.
My sister still dislikes him. Anytime she remembers him, she still rains curses on him: “That useless man, God will punish him!” Me, I’ll just laugh a little, but my heart will be heavy because I’m in love with this same man.
I’m so confused. How do I tell my family? In our Igbo culture, this kind of thing is a serious taboo. My parents will never agree for me to marry someone that dated their first daughter. But I love this man deeply!
Please, I need advice. What should I do? Should I forget about him for the sake of family peace? Or should I fight for my happiness? I’m tired of hiding. Keeping this secret is tearing me apart.
